Aurorastevani’s Blog

Are You Becoming A High-Maintenance Girlfriend? 10 Warning Signs, and 10 Ways to Chill Out If You Are

Posted on: April 20, 2010

We all know someone who is a monster girlfriend, the unmarried equivalent of a Bridezilla.

Maybe you know some ladies in your circle of friends who became complete monsters when they started having boyfriends. Your nicest, sweetest gal pals transformed into ball-busting, shit-talking, self-absorbed drama mamas who would whine every time her man didn’t call quickly enough, or would throw a hissy fit if the jewelry she got for her last anniversary wasn’t expensive enough.

It can happen to anybody–including you. Is your inner High-Maintenance Girlfriend starting to take over your brain and wreak havoc on your romantic union? Here are 10 warning signs–and 10 tips to chill the eff out before your vagina starts growing teeth.

Warning Sign #1: You start seeing red when your boyfriend forgets to call you back. Being late one hour deserves a half-day silent treatment.

Chill out: Have activities to keep you mentally occupied so you are not wasting your time waiting around your phone all alone. Knit, cook, clean, read, whatever. Or hang out with your other friends. This is why mentally healthy people tend to have hobbies and a social life.

Warning Sign #2: Expensive jewelry and fine dining are not surprises–they are requirements.

Chill out: Umm, hello, recession. Nip your inner diva in the bud and treat your guy like royalty for a change. And see how great that feels. Doesn’t it feel so nice to give rather than to constantly receive?

Warning Sign #3: Spontaneous hang-outs are out of the question–you need at least three hours to do your hair and make-up, he-LLO!

Chill out: Your guy doesn’t care how perfectly glued-on your fake eyelashes are, and neither does anybody else. Save your lengthy primping and prepping for the super-special events (like your future wedding), but not for burger and fries.

Warning Sign #4: Constantly putting him down in front of your friends is soooooo funny. You’re just joking anyway.

Chill out: Ok, seriously? Not cool. Try praising him or bragging about how great he is for a change. That might detract your bad karma just a little bit.

Warning Sign #5: What is your boyfriend up to these days? You have no idea because for the last three weeks you’ve only been giving him detailed recaps of all the drama that’s been going on at work, and they require nightly hour-long explanations of everyone involved in the ever-fascinating power hierarchy in the office.

Chill out: It’s okay to vent about things that’s on your mind, but not at the expense of drowning out your boyfriend’s chance to speak up about what’s on his mind. See how long you can go without hogging the conversation the next time you guys talk.

Warning Sign #6: You’ve forgotten how to drive because your boyfriend drops you off and picks you up everywhere, all the time. Paying for your own public transportation is completely out of the question.

Chill out: Boyfriend is not spelled C-H-A-U-F-F-E-U-R. Also, think of the slimmer waist and legs you will be getting from more walking and biking.

Warning Sign #7: Boyfriend is expected to go with you for shopping, high school reunion, a family dinner that is three hours away. But on the rare occasion he is dying to see the latest comedy with you in theaters–HELLLL NO, you don’t have time for that!

Chill out: Is somebody being too self-absorbed with what she likes, as opposed to what he likes? The next time you guys have a free weekend, ask him for a change what he wants to do.

Warning Sign #8: You hate all his friends because they are all lame. You refuse to hang out with them or make the effort to know them. On an unrelated note, you HATE it when your guy is unavailable because he is out and about hanging out with his friends instead of you.

Chill out: Time for a reality check: maybe you get pissed when your guy is out with his friends because you’ve been neglecting your gal pals since you peaced out from the single scene? Re-connect with the girl friends you haven’t spoken to in a while; they’ll be the allies who will tell you like it is when you are starting to act, you know, a little crazy.

Warning Sign #9: You’ve forgotten how to start a conversation without complaining. Or to talk without having a whiny undertone in your voice–even when everything is perfectly fine and peachy.

Chill out: Whining makes your frown lines deeper and adds wrinkles to your forehead. Cut it out.

Warning Sign #10: Telling him what’s on your mind is completely out of the question. It is his responsibility to mind-read you and decipher the nuance of your silence when you are passive-aggressively withdrawing your affections from him when he did something wrong.

Chill out: Tell him what’s on your mind, talk it out and have some hot, passionate make-up sex afterwards. See, isn’t healthy problem-solving as a couple fun?

Taken from


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